Priorities

Tell me, what do you think should be a priority to you? Are you the type of person that follow your heart or, instead, you close your eyes, count one to 10 and take a decision with your brain?

It is always harder to actually do this than think about it. Most of the time we try to tell ourself that what we do and the decisions we have chosen are the right ones. And we so know this is a lie that is gonna fuck us up in the future! But we are so stupid that we will do this mistake over and over again. 

I am no saying that is a bad think to do mistakes. It is important that we do them, so we relalize what really matters to us and we grow up emotionaly. But, how this decisions impact in the people around us? Our friends, family, loved ones, people we think we hate and we do not, people that loves us and we think they not.... Well, this what has been bothering me for quite a long time now. Should i fuck this people up as long as i am happy or i should sacrify some of this happyness of mine in order to make their lifes better somehow?

I am more the second type rather than the first one. Always looking after the ones i think matter to me. And this cost me sleepless nights and a fortune in sleeping pills. heheheheh. Seriously, my friends to me mean the world. And i am willing to give up my happiness so i can make them laugh. Some of you know this very well. And i am so tired to be the good guy all the time. But i know i will not change. This is in my nature and i should learn to live with it.

Putting some examples here would not be fare on some people. For the past few days i have this little angel on one of my shoulders telling me to be nice, try harder, be better so i will be rewarded with what i "think" is important to me. On the other shoulder i have that fucker of a demon. Telling me to fuck you up because by fucking you up i will make your life better in the future even if that cost me a good friend and a loved one. 

I recieved a txt this morning. Something like "you should stay away from me now. You should change your life"  Should i change my life because is good for me even if i am letting someone down? Or should you change this way to think and support me to achive my goals. And at the same time helping your best friend to get over the most dramatic time of his life. 

Point. By helping me you are helping others, by helping others you are not helping me. Brain or heart? Angel or demon? Easy or hard? You or us? The right thing to do or what you should really do?

I do not give up on my friends. NEVER. And if this, at some point makes me feel sad, i do not care. Because i do what i am supposed to do. 

- IF YOU REALLY LOVE SOMEONE YOU SHOULD AND WOULD NEVER BE AFRAID TO TELL THE WORLD.

- A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP DOES NOT DRAG YOU DOWN. IT INSPIRES YOU TO BE BETTER.

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